How Silly Can You Get

“You will always be in our hearts little guy,” is the type of thing that we would say as we tossed candy onto a “sacred” spot. This memorial is not like other memorials.  And neither are the “so-called” mourners.   

Four friends, Nathan Graham, Tom Fowers, Kyle Christensen and I began paying tribute to a fly we found frozen in ice.  I do not remember all the details, except that our tongue in cheek ceremony began as one stupid idea was thrown out to outdo the last person. I’m sure it was probably Kyle who first pretended to be devastated at finding this frozen little fly and everything built off of that.  We paid homage to the fly who somehow was ultimately named ”Little Bugger Booger” nearly every day during lunch that year.  And the next, our corny ceremonies became stranger and stranger, and since one or all of us usually had candy out of the machines with us, we often left some on the site we chose to bury him instead of flowers.   

The concept of “you had to be there” is a good way to describe nearly everything the four of us did (and do).  If you took each individual idea or joke, most people would find many things they think are funny, but there would also be a mountain of concepts that would just make them wonder who would think of that.  Well, we would.  And when I say we I mean WE.  Because without all four pistons firing, the level of stupid and corny thoughts does not reach its pinnacle.   

I had known and liked Tom and Nathan before the sixth grade but didn’t think of them as friends.  In fact, I hadn’t had many friends from the 3^rd grade till Kyle moved into the neighborhood our fifth-grade year.  Once sports became one of the more critical activities on the playground I fell into grade school obscurity.  I wasn’t disliked by any means.  And some of my other friends, who were more physically agile, would try to find ways to include me.  But I was always picked close to last, or last.  And while well-intentioned most efforts to keep me included often led to the equivalent of pulling punches, which gave me the opportunity to still compete.  I knew what was going on and I wasn’t dumb, so I eventually found that most of my fourth-grade year I spent alone on the playground, sometimes joining one game or other but never committing myself to any of the groups that would form.   

Kyle moved in in the fifth grade, and we quickly became best friends.  He lived five houses away, so our after school activities carried on by our playground activities.  Nathan and Tom had been friends for several years before sixth grade.  

In some way or the other, I think all of us felt on the outside of the grade school society.  And in much the same way I felt I don’t believe many people disliked any of us.  With that understanding, it seems like we were destined to become friends.  But it turns out we had so much more in common than just being outsiders.  And stupid humor became the concrete that bound our little group together.   

The ultimate expression of this idea manifests itself in our “Video Parties.”  Now video parties are not exclusive to us.  But in my opinion, no one did video parties quite like us.  Most of the time they were held at either Kyle or Nathans house.  Often there was one of three movies playing, Top Secret!, The Three Amigos, or Ferris Bueler's Day Off.  Sometimes others but always some of the silliest humor in all of cinema was represented at some point.   

To this day I have no idea where their parents were.  Because our parties which started innocent enough with Little Caesars, and coke.  Often ended in some activity that would make every mother cringe.  Things like using a ceiling fan to distribute pieces of bread all over the room.  We found that at high speed and with just the right angle the food would explode with just the right distribution.  (Disclaimer- most of the stories I could tell I will not to protect the guilty)  These were not parties you wanted to fall asleep first at, something I learned the hard way.   

To us, we were comic geniuses, to outsiders we were just weird.  And we reveled in that idea.  In fact, we looked on being called weird or strange as a compliment.   Maybe it was the ultimate in figuratively “steering into the skid,” but I believe we understood something important about not following the herd.  Because of the perspective we each had viewing other kids dynamic, we felt it was far better to remain true to ourselves than try to recraft ourselves into what others expected.  So even to this day, we feel that being called or thought of as “weird” is a compliment even when it isn’t meant that way.   

There were many years that we didn’t see each other or if we did, I would see Tom, or Nathan, or Kyle or maybe two or three of us would see each other, but never all four.  We had grown up.  Nathan has a family now and lives in Boise Idaho, Tom has worked for years at Hill Airforce Base.  I am married but with no kids.  And Kyle is a well-respected manager for the business office at a hospital and lives in Seattle.  All of us have lived different experiences and developed our own beliefs and lifestyles.  There probably was a hesitation that we would be too different from when we were kids, so we never got back together.   

Until 3 years ago.  We decided to build a private page on Facebook.  Only the four of us are invited.  And in that space, we began touching base and sharing our love and concern for each other, and of course, goofing off.  It was decided that it has been far too long that we had been together.  We met at my house a few weeks later.  At first, things seemed tame, Kyle and I had never really lost contact, and we were waiting for the others to show.  As Tom arrived. We started catching up and laughing, and we knew this was going to be fun, but we all figured that things would be more adult and conservative than when we were younger.  However, once Nathan arrived things immediately began to become silly.  And more silly.  It took us less than an hour to build up laughter that literally had my sides hurting.   

The idea was passed around that we should visit the grave of our favorite little fly.  And as four grown men stood around the approximate spot, and left candy and dumped soda in homage to “little bugger booger” we all realized how much we meant to each other.  And how much our shared love for each other had transcended the different directions that we each had gone.  Since then we have met several more times and have made a commitment that we will try to get together as close to once a year as possible.  In fact, Saturday night (May 9^th, 2015) was our most recent visits.  And one of the most memorable.   

In a previous encounter, someone had started the idea of making “family photos” of the four of us.  But the idea was to look as serious as we could in awkward poses that seemed “off” for four men to be doing.  The poses we did were strangely intimate in nature and just make you a little uncomfortable.  So the idea for last Saturday was to try to recreate some of the awkward family photos that are so popular on the internet if only to ramp up how awkward they were by being recreated by four men.  My wife served as photographer, and we often were laughing so hard that she had to selectively take the photos to catch when one of us was not cracking up.   

The following are some of those photos, but keep in mind these are the tamest, since the other three would kill me if I posted the craziest shots:

 

I have many good friends, and each of them is separately important to me.  But these 3 guys are my longest and most influential friends.   

There always seemed to be a slight division between Kyle and Andy, and then Nathan and Tom.  We still accepted that these 2 groups were what made up the whole.  But there is very little division really.  In fact like four pistons firing, there is something special about the four of us together.   Kyle was my best man and has been my best friend since he moved in in the fifth grade, and Nathan and Tom were the same even before that.   

Some friends of mine have been there for me and have stood by my side through everything, and these guys also fall into that category.  But with Kyle, Nathan, and Tom, I can say that who I am is so closely tied to who we were back then.  We crafted ourselves within the confines of our friendship.  So any good or bad I am as a man as much attributed to the influence of these great friends.  This is not to discount any of my parents or teachers or other mentors.   

And no matter where our lives take us or what will come at us we will always be there for each other.  Thank you, Nathan, Tom, and Kyle for being some of the best friends anyone can have.  And I look forward to the next time I can get together with you and wonder how “Silly [we] can get.”